Let them eat Cake

One of the things I was disappointed about last weekend was that I thought we were going to try cake from our baker and we didn't get to. Not sure what happened there, but the wedding coordinator didn't bring it or something. I'm not really a sweets person, but the Mr. is, so it's important to him.
I thought we'd do cupcakes, mainly because he won't promise to not cake smash. Why? The meaning of feeding your new wife cake is to show her that you'll be a good provider and the two of you will savor a sweet life. So why would you smash cake in her face AND ruin the expensive make-up job she just got (for those of us getting make-up done by professionals)? My coordinator thinks the cupcakes are a cute idea, but then she also suggested a small cake for the two of us and using forks to avoid the smash.
Our cake/cupcakes are being done by a small town baker called Cakes by Sara. I still don't have an exact quote, but it sounds pretty cheap: $100 to $150 for 100 cupcakes and the cake.
Here is some of my inspiration for the cupcakes:

























For the cake at the top, I thought the baker could use some candles I had bought as inspiration. They're little sand castles that I thought she could replicate and then we'll have the candle ones on the table with the cupcakes.









We still need to decide on flavors, if anyone has ideas, please send me your comments. Mr. S loves chocolate.
What was your inspiration for your cake/cupcakes?

The Planning Trip - Part 2

(Note: Sorry for the long post - It was a really LONG day)
On Saturday, we meet with the catering manager at the hotel to finalize our day after brunch. We scored when she pulled out the 2009 menus and the one we chose was $1.00 per person cheaper and included some better options. We also found out that even though our room contract says we'll be responsible for the rooms that don't get booked in our block, that's actually not the case. They'll release them and not hold us responsible once the date for booking comes (note for future brides - make sure this is also the case for your contract). We also discussed the shuttle that will take our guests from the hotel to the Lodge and back again safely so we have less drunk drivers to worry about. After we met with Amber we enjoyed a really nice breakfast buffet that was taking place in the hotel restaurant.
After breakfast, we decided to let the girls test out the indoor water park. This is all the rage out here in the Midwest now. Tons of hotels are now installing these and getting rid of their traditional pool areas. The girls really liked the play area and Mr. S and I soaked up some quiet time in the hot tub.

After drying off and getting re-dressed, we decided to head out and get some more wedding errands done. We started with checking out the Lodge again and looking for some things the band requested (flat surface, power, etc). I also walked around the area to scope out some cute places for pictures (I'll have to post them later).
Then we went to the Barefoot Bar to talk to the catering manager there, but he was still at another restaurant that he cooks at. We decided to head there for lunch. The O'Farrell Sister's Restaurant was very good. They're famous for their pies which is also part of our rehearsal dinner menu (yum!).

We worked out some of the details with Will and paid our deposit for the rehearsal dinner and then we were off on a search for Boomer (the boat rental guy down the road - gotta love small town Iowa). Boomer was able to help us get a 16 ft speed boat rented for our time on the lake - now we just need to find a way to rent a boat lift for the dock so we can keep it overnight (add one more thing to the list).
Since we had some time to kill we decided to drive around Arnold's Park and look around. We got into the residential area and saw lots of for sale signs. Not that we need another house (we have three - anyone interested in buying a house?), but for a future vacation property we thought we'd start "window shopping". We called a couple of the numbers on the signs, we have a game that we guess how much real estate costs between the two of us (I'm usually closest), and found out that we could buy some really cute, off-lake properties for under $150,000! How insane is the market right now?! We could also by an apartment complex (three houses turned into small apartments) for $180,000. If only we weren't paying for a wedding, two cars, three houses, and five kids.
Our next appointment was with our caterer. Duane came very highly recommended. He runs a restaurant and teppanyaki room in Arnold's Park. During the winter he works on a yacht in Florida - what a fun life! We discussed our menu, the bar and paid a deposit. He also complimented our choice in location saying it's the ideal, most sought-after spot in Okoboji to get married, even his daughter wants to get married there (wow- it's like I'm getting married at the Ritz - only Okoboji style).
After we met with Duane we decided to hang out and have a few drinks at the Barefoot Bar. It's actually a family atmosphere, so the girls had fun playing on the playground and dancing to the music. Because of the weather (really windy - not that warm), there were not many boaters on the lake and they were getting pretty sauced at Barefoot. It provided some unique entertainment.
Our next appointment was with Brandy, our wedding coordinator, at the Lodge. We went over the layout of the Lodge and how things would be placed. I think this was the first time I had been in the bathroom there, it's HUGE. There will be plenty of room to freshen up in there between pictures and the ceremony - there's even a lounge chair. We talked about rentals, flowers, decorations, the schedule and many other details. We did a mock-up of the centerpieces and I gave her invitation examples and other things I had been saving to show her. I think we're on the right page and we'll be able to complete our planning through emails.
We had dinner reservations at Yesterday's, that's Duane's restaurant. I'm going to save the details for another post because I have pictures and the food was so good it deserves it's own post.
Sunday morning we had another buffet meal at the hotel restaurant - yummy. Since the weather was crummy (raining and windy) and we wouldn't be able to get on the lake, we decided to head home. So, that's our planning trip.
Have you had to stuff a whole lot of planning into one weekend for your wedding?

P.S. - For those of you wondering, Mr. S and I are doing better, last night went much better so I think we're back on the road to happily ever after. That's why I saved this post, if we had ditched the whole thing, this post would be kind of moot, right?

The Planning Trip - Part 1

Last weekend, Mr. S, my daughters and I went to Okoboji to get a bunch of planning and contracts taken care of, and not to mention spend a TON of money on deposits.
Friday afternoon we got off early and after waiting for Pella to finish installing a storm door (the joys of home-ownership), cleaning cupcakes off my car seats (the joys of children riding in my car all the time - thank god for stain guard) and driving through a lot of rain (the joys of living in the Midwest), we finally got to the lake - surprisingly it was quite sunny there so it made for a nice sunset.

We checked into the hotel that we have our wedding block of rooms booked at http://www.arrowwood-okoboji.com/. The girls were really excited because they had a whole hotel room to themselves - adjacent to us of course. We left for dinner and ice cream and then swung by the Lodge to see what it looked like at about 8:30 in the evening. We'll be having most of our party out there with the band being out there, so I wanted to check out the lighting. There was a party going on at the time, but I took a few pictures (sorry - I'll post them) and it's fairly dark there. I think I'm going to put candles in jars, etc and Mr. S even volunteered to put up lights like this the day of the wedding for the area where the band will be and dancing (he can be sweet):

Then we went back to the hotel to rest up for our busy Saturday.
Did you go on a planning trip when planning your destination wedding?

Next Steps

Well, I'm still not really sure if we resolved anything last night. We at least went to bed together last night, but when he's angry with me, he doesn't touch me - it's a subconscious thing, and last night as we slept he didn't touch me. He has told me many times that he loves me today, but I just don't feel resolved. I just feel exhausted and that the fight has gone to take a nap until it rears it's ugly head again.
On my end, I've resolved that I'm going to start going to counseling with my daughter. Maybe the counselor will just want to talk to her alone, i don't know, but something needs to be done in that arena. I'm also going to start scheduling time with just me and my daughters on the weekends I have them - even though we have the boys too. We need time together and between the wedding planning, all of the sports, running around to this function or that function - I've lost my relationship with them and they need to know I'm still there for them.
I will follow Mr. S's request and take the boys to do something alone. Maybe I can get my ex to take the girls sometime over the long weekend and we can go to Night at the Museum or something. I don't know.
Mr. S thinks he fair, so fine, I'll trust him that's he's going to start being more mindful of his actions, and if not, I'm going to call him on it, front and center. I know this will just stir the pot again, but if he's not consistent, it's jut going to make things worse.
It's just going to be a continual balancing act. It's complicated by my extreme work schedule right now, and the wedding planning, and all of the kid's activities, but I guess I need to figure it out if I want it to work.
How do you balance everything in your relationship?

Balancing Act

For those of you that have children from previous relationships, how do you balance it all? How do you make it fair? The one fight we can't seem to get past in about the kids. I feel like things are not fair between the girls and the boys, I've felt that way for about 6 months, but every time we argue about it, he doesn't see it that way. I have felt like for the last 6 months I have had to compete with his sons when they're at our house/with us for his attention. Prior to that, even when the boys were there, he gave me all kinds of attention, but now I have to fight for my space and my time with him. He doesn't see it that way either, it's another thing we've fought about for the last few months on and off. I have suggested counseling, but he thinks that if we need counseling this early, then it's not worth it.
He thinks I don't discipline my daughters, follow-through, etc. They're out of hand and he doesn't want to see it get worse in our future. I don't see it being that bad. I think a lot of it stems from my oldest being really angry at me right now. I don't know the depth of it, but she's angry about me getting married and she's angry about the relationship she has with her dad. I have things I need to work out with her - I need to fix our relationship.
Part of our fight today is that he wants me to rebuild my relationship with his sons, but how can I do that when he and I have things to work out? Why would I work on that relationship before the one with my daughters? We pretty much have left the fight at "if you and I have issues to work out before you're interested in a relationship with the boys then we need to put a hold on marriage plans, we should have issues worked out by now". I'm really hurt and angry that he won't work on anything with me, that it's apparently ALL MY fault. I told him fine, whatever he wanted.
I so feel like throwing in the towel, it's not worth it to feel like this anymore. Maybe part of it is because the last piece I have tying me to my "old life" is going to be severed this week and I'm a little sad about that (the girls will start at their new school next week), plus I'm really bad with change.
Any advice out there?

His Ring

After the Mr got one thing checked off his list yesterday, I felt a like it was time for me to check something off of mine. Yesterday, I finally picked a ring for him. I ordered it from http://www.e-weddingbands.com/. It looks like this:

It seems like a pretty simple process, they have free shipping, and engraving was only $7. I had it engraved with "Love never fails" Cor. 13:4-8. For him, I hope this means something. It's a long story, but his first wife left him because "she didn't love him anymore". It's something that really bothers him and I hope that between us, he can understand my commitment to love and him. I don't believe love or relationships ever fails, you fight to keep it together NO MATTER WHAT. (yes, I know, I was divorced, but that's because he was a cheating, abusive, alcoholic - I loved him long after he deserved it)
He's actually going to be wearing this ring on a necklace the majority of the time. I've asked that during the ceremony it goes on his finger, but he says he'd be more comfortable with it on a necklace because of his job, etc. So hopefully, he'll see the engraving even more than if it were on his finger to remind himself. Now I just need to find a necklace for him, any suggestions? We're looking for kind of a beachy - manly necklace.
What did you pick for your fiance?

That man is MINE

Yesterday, Mr. S asked me to meet him at the mall to pick out an outfit for an important work meeting coming up. To my surprise when I got there he'd already picked on outfit (it was pretty nice), but he was also in the process of picking his wedding attire. He already had the suit picked out, it was on clearance, and the lady was helping him with the alterations by the time I arrived. This is my sexy man...


I thought he looked really nice and did a great job of picking something that matched the pictures I had shown him, I guess I feel a little guilty about not picking something he wanted, but like I said they looked horrible on me (maybe I should go fake dress shopping and try on some of those styles for pictures). It was so refreshing to not have to nag him about this, I had figured I'd wait another month or so before bugging him because he'd accomplish the task so fast. Another reason why I love him.
Did your fiance pick his own clothes?